


no way I can change my mind, i don't have the answers

by notthebigspoon



Series: Amaryllis [44]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-30
Updated: 2012-08-30
Packaged: 2017-11-13 05:23:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim Lincecum is smiling. He's smiling a lot. He was the last to arrive at the clubhouse, hair damp from a shower and clothes mussed with a megawatt smile that would have blinded lesser people. Something about this is fishy. And maybe it's just that Matt is bored and misses his wife and daughter but he has to know what's going on. <i>Has</i> to.</p><p>Title taken from Remember Me by Journey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	no way I can change my mind, i don't have the answers

Tim Lincecum is smiling. He's smiling a lot. He was the last to arrive at the clubhouse, hair damp from a shower and clothes mussed with a megawatt smile that would have blinded lesser people. Something about this is fishy. And maybe it's just that Matt is bored and misses his wife and daughter but he has to know what's going on. _Has_ to.

He hasn't been the happiest guy in the world in the past year, Tim. The break up with Buster shortly after the twins were born had sent his self esteem plummeting and landing somewhere around the earth's core. Matt could be wrong but he attributes the stringent diet and weight loss during the off season to the depression. The struggles during the season didn't help.

Buster and Tim _had_ started repairing their friendship in the past couple of months, talking a little bit more day by day. But they weren't especially close. And they definitely weren't back together. Matt starts running through a mental list of possible hookups, starting with their teammates. Even if Matt's been a one team guy and will be for the next five years, he's pretty sure that no other team is quite this... close, to one another.

Definitely none of the unmarried guys. They're all attached to each other with the exception of Vogey. Matt's not quite sure where the Cabrera situation lies and nobody's about to ask. There's maybe Javy, he's got an understanding with his wife but the last Cain knew, he wasn't involved. There's Bum but he's got something going with some redneck from Atlanta... maybe he's over thinking this. Maybe Tim met a local. Maybe he's finally getting his shit together and learning he doesn't need a man to be happy.

Maybe tonight a pig will fly around the rafters of Minute Maid Park. Anything is possible.

Well, neither of them is pitching tonight. If he asks Tim and he happens to get upset, it wouldn't affect tonight's game. Nothing chanced, nothing gained and damn it, Matt wants to know so badly that his eye is starting to tick. He watches Tim, waits until he starts to head out to the field before following after him. He's just stretching and turning, still with a slight smile on his face. Matt nudges him with his foot before dropping onto the grass next to him. He leans forward, gripping his foot and stretching.

“You're looking perky today.”

“Yup.” Tim answers cheerfully. “And you're ugly as ever, Mr. Perfect.”

“Funny. Really, Timmy, what's got you so smiling so big? I haven't seen you this happy in months.”

Tim shrugs. “Just a good day is all. Can't a guy be in a good mood without everyone questioning it?”

“I think if everyone's questioning your good mood, it's kind of an indication that your past behavior makes the good mood out of the ordinary.”

As other guys filter out onto the field, Tim starts smiling a little bit less and Matt drops the inquiries for now. He doesn't want to ruin this for Tim and he doesn't want anyone else ruining it either. The closer they get to game time, the more focused the rest of the players become and Tim's sunny disposition for the day falls by the wayside.

Tim spends most of the game on the bench, chewing on the string of his hoodie and fiddling with a miniature Rubik's Cube that he produced from God knows where, occasionally scampering to the railing to see what's going on when the noise level rises. During one such trip, Matt's curiosity finally gets the best of him and he elbows Tim, giving him a conspiratorial look.

“C'mon Timmy... what's going on? You can tell me.”

For a while he doesn't look away from the action going on on the field. Finally, though, finally he takes a breath and glances over, offering Matt a crooked smile. “Weezy's at the hotel.”

“You finally talked to him? What's going on, why the hell is he hiding? How'd you track him down?”

“I, um. I've sort of been staying in his room?” Tim offers, blushing. 

That was a possibility that Matt hadn't considered. They'd been close from the beginning and had been pretty serious for a few years. Matt had never known why it ended but he hadn't worried about it that much, either. Nothing about their relationship had seemed to change except for the fact that they weren't sleeping together anymore. They'd just went their separate ways romantically, Tim developing a fixation with Posey and Weezy obsessing over Belt.

“When did that start back up?”

“Last week, when he showed up in LA. Don't ask me how, it just did.”

“Doesn't explain why you're so happy today.”

Tim smiles, nudging him. “I seem to remember you being disgustingly happy about Chelsea and us strapping one of those Lecter gags on you so we wouldn't have to see that creepy smile.”

“Yeah, but that was when I propo-” Matt freezes, staring at him. “You did not. You are _not_. It's only been a week!”

“I didn't, he did. And before that it had been years.”

“Years that you weren't together!”

“We were still friends! And... before the split it had been years, you can't argue that point. He actually asked me the night we won the series but he was hammered so I told him no. He threw up on my shoes ten minutes later but I don't know if that had anything to do with my answer.” Tim answers with a dreamy smile on his face. Which is disturbing. A memory involving bodily fluids and shoes should not be a good one.

Matt takes a deep breath, counting backwards from ten and closing his eyes, shaking his head. He can't make decisions for them and after all, he wants them to be happy. If this makes them happy, why not? They're perfect for each other, both of them eccentric and a little abnormal. Really, their chances of success are the greatest with each other, based on their mutual tolerance for crazy.

“I'm... happy for you.” Matt says slowly before nodding. “Yeah, I'm happy for you.”

“Thanks Cain.”

There's a loud cheer but neither of them knows what instigates it. Tim has his head hung and there's a shy but pleased smile on his face. There's something there that usually isn't present even on his best days. Maybe it doesn't make any sense to Matt but if it makes Tim this happy, Matt's not going to do anything to ruin it.


End file.
